Vanya swallows hard. Now that Allison is looking at her with her kind, keen eyes, she wants to retreat. Not because she is afraid, but because the fear of rejection that is almost as old as she is has sparked up in her center. How can she apologize for all of the things she's done? There just aren't words, and that's what gives her the courage to keep going. Her whole life has been an impossible task that has her apologizing for nothing at every turn. This one isn't nothing. This is one that deserves to be said.

"I--" Her heart bottoms out again. She sets her jaw and tries to get strength from the floor, but looking there makes her feel worse. Like a coward. That is something she knows now that she is not. Part of the reason she knows it has to do with this fiercely loyal woman that is constantly bettering herself.

"I owe you an apology," she starts, her hands feeling kind of heavy and useless at her sides. "Hundreds of apologies. I don't even know where to start.

"When I found out about... everything, I was so angry. And Leonard--Harold-- I'm nor making excuses. I--" She takes a breath and tries again. "I never got the chance to tell you that I don't blame you for what Dad made you do. I didn't know. And when, at the cabin... And after..." She can't even bring herself to say it. She just winces a little.

"For as long as I can remember, all that I wanted was for you guys to see me. You did. You were there for me and you were brave. And I almost killed you." Twice. It's hard to say, and Vanya finds that her eyes are welling. She had to, though. If she can't say it, she can't be better from it.

"I'm so, so sorry."